The RELIEF Guide
Where to Start if Sex Hurts After Birth
If sex has been painful since having a baby, you’re not alone.
This is one of the most common things postpartum moms deal with, but very few people talk about it openly.
Many women assume they just need to:
• wait it out
• push through it
• or have a glass of wine and relax
But painful sex after birth is common, but not something you should have to live with.
Your body went through pregnancy, birth, and major hormonal changes.
If something doesn’t feel right, that’s your body asking for support.
This guide will show you a few simple places to start.
Why This Happens After Birth
Pain during sex postpartum can happen for several reasons, including:
• Pelvic floor tension (the muscles are tight, not weak)
• Scar tissue sensitivity from tearing or stitches
• Hormonal dryness, especially if breastfeeding
• Protective muscle guarding from the nervous system
The good news is that most of these issues can improve with the right support and gentle care.
Where to Start
If you’ve been dealing with discomfort during sex, these are some of the first things that often help.
1. Focus on Relaxing the Pelvic Floor
Many women unknowingly keep their pelvic floor muscles slightly tightened all day.
Before intimacy, try this simple reset:
Lie on your back or sit comfortably.
Take a slow breath in through your nose.
Let your ribs and belly expand.
As you exhale, imagine your pelvic floor gently softening or dropping.
Take 5–8 slow breaths.
This can help signal to your body that the area is safe to relax.
2. Use Lubrication
Hormone changes after pregnancy can make vaginal tissue more sensitive and dry.
Even if dryness was never an issue before, it’s very common postpartum.
Using a gentle water-based lubricant can reduce friction and improve comfort right away.
This is one of the simplest changes that can make a big difference.
3. Go Slower Than You Think You Need To
Your body may need time to rebuild comfort with intimacy.
Instead of focusing on penetration right away, start with:
• longer foreplay
• gentle touch
• communication with your partner about what feels comfortable
Taking pressure off the moment often helps the body relax.
4. Consider Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy
If pain continues, pelvic floor therapy can help address the underlying cause.
A pelvic floor therapist can evaluate things like:
• muscle tension
• scar tissue mobility
• pelvic floor coordination
• nervous system guarding
Treatment is typically very gentle and designed to help restore comfort.
Many women wish they had known about this option sooner.
Signs It Might Be Time to Seek Help
If you’re experiencing:
• burning or sharp pain with penetration
• persistent discomfort months after birth
• tightness that makes penetration difficult
• anxiety around intimacy because of pain
It may be helpful to speak with a pelvic floor specialist.
Pain is information from your body and not something you need to ignore.
The Most Important Thing to Remember
Painful sex after birth is more common than people realize, but it is not something you have to silently tolerate.
Your body just went through something major.
With the right support and the right starting steps, healing is possible.
You are not broken.
You are recovering.
And support is available.